Lovelifepoet

You mess with me,  You think I’m so easy,  That you won’t find any confrontation,  Not with me,  I say… ‘Oh really?’  How wrong you are,  You don’t know me at all,  I may smile sweetly,  Underneath it all,  There’s a fire starter at home,  Just waiting to go off.  I’m a sweet disaster,  Just waiting to happen,  Tread carefully,  Once my fuse goes,  What may happen?  Only God knows.

Hug tighter,  Love stronger,  Kiss longer.  Tell your loved ones you adore them,  One day they won’t be there,  Then you will wonder why you didn’t do all these things,  Too late, though,  Time stops for no man.  Wishing you could rewind time,  No chance of that,  Time has ticked on.  Life is a fickle master,  Drags you down,  Remember to enjoy the highs,  The lows fill you with woes,  Ones you never can shake.  They hang off your coat tails,  By then it’s too late,  Nothing you can do,  It has become a part of you.

A wish is but a wish,  Just like a kiss is just a kiss,  You are a powerful human being,  You are more than your fears,  Wilder than your dreams.  You can have it all,  If only you believe that to be the case,  This life is not a race,  First we must face our mistakes.

Leaving is so bittersweet,  The emptiness is overflowing,  You know you are being dragged somewhere else,  A different place,  A life you chose,  This is how it seems to go.  Life is tough,  So hard,  Making choices,  Never making plans.  Fate throws us around,  Laughs some more,  Until we feel so out of sorts,  As though we are at death’s door,  How can we take much more?

Eyes wide shut,  Sleep deprivation,  Sleep I must.  Hollow heart,  Tired mind,  Sleepy eyes.  Must keep going,  No time for rest,  Onwards I trudge.  Falling drastically,  Please, why won’t somebody help me?  Nobody there,  Just white noise,  All around,  Blackness surrounds us,  Dark clouds keep pounding.

Look after yourself,   Nobody else will, You try your best to help everyone else, Daily uphill struggle, You seem to be helping no one at all, All you do is juggle. Little by little, You lose yourself, Who you once were, Until you are not you at all, Not anymore, You have walked out the door, There is just a ghost left of who you once were. A shell of a person is left behind, Confused as can be, How did this come around? You thought your life would be so different, Yet you have gone the same way too, Down the dark and windy roads, The twists have gone too far, Lost in the darkness, You know not where you fall.

Believe everything will turn out alright in the end, See the light at the end of the tunnel, In God we trust. It will all come out in the wash, We don't know end result but if we have faith, We have already have more than most, Faith helps us a lot.

They made those dents in you,  Without a second thought,  That is how they reach the top.  It will take an eternity for you to beat those dents out,  You carry them around,  They make you frown,  Drag you down,  You wish you had more self-control.  Your heart is battered and bruised,  Though you hide behind a facade of happiness,  It is hard to endure,  This pretend you,  Everyone believes this side of you to be true,  Who are you to tell them the truth?  Though if they really looked at you,  Into those dark eyes,  Especially when you smile,  They would see you have had your soul broken,  So many times,  You have lost count,  The sadness in you,  Is fuelled by all that is lacking in you.

Why fear the fire?  The one you hold within,  It shows your will.  You are an eternal flame,  One to be reckoned with,  You start the fires,  The imaginary ones,  The ones you cannot control at all.  Never startled by the flames,  You roar mightily,  It warms your heart,  Nor are you frightened or scared, You don’t fear to be alone.  You are the heat that everyone feels,  You start the flames,  See them through until the fire has gone out,  Disappeared,  Then you become ashes once more,  Never alone.

You are an exquisite little thing,  You are endeared to everyone,  Though some are as jealous as can be,  You never change,  That’s what makes you so perfect my dear. Their spitefulness makes you stronger,  Your hair just seems to grow longer,  Nothing affects you,  Their words do not mean a thing. You charge on regardless,  I love that you’re fearless,  A true Viking heart,  Plus, you’re smart. Behind that big beautiful smile,  Is a sadness,  It is tragic,  It runs long and far. I see it in your eyes,  The sparkle is still dazzling,  Though the spark never seems quite right,  As if you have been burned,  One too many times,  Life has gotten you down,  Still, you refuse to frown.

Too tired to give a shit,  I used to overthink,  That has all changed.  Age got in the way,  This story,  That story,  I just don’t care.  Now I can’t even keep my eyes open,  Exhaustion has taken its toll,  Don’t know what to do anymore,  Nor do I know which way to turn.  Obstacles at every road block,  Knives sharpened waiting to be turned,  Too numb to think too deep,  I really need to get some sleep.

You think it’s ok to scream,  Throw around words you like to abuse me with,  Do you honestly think it’s okay to wound my soul,  All because you are having a bad day,  Or another bad mood,  Who the fuck are you?  To mistreat me so.  How about you save your words,  Tell them to yourself,  Instead of trying to wound me deeper with every attempt,  I know you do it with intent.  I am bored of your bitchiness,  You are just a shitty friend,  Tired of making excuses for the evil things you say,  The bad things you do,  It’s exhausting being near you.  Why don’t you shut your big mouth,  For once?  Maybe stay at home,  Lock the door,  I don’t have to take your shit anymore.

One day soon,  You shall realise,  You have wasted your time,  On chasing material things,  They are all you have left.  Nobody cares, not anymore,  All your loved ones have gone,  The ones who did,  Have passed away,  You were chasing sugar-coated dreams,  They evaporated,  You left people who loved you deflated,  Unfulfilled.  Time has gone,  You wasted it all,  On a garden you thought was roses in full bloom,  Everything is dead,  It makes you feel the gloom,  Nothing is left.

They call you a freak,  Water off a duck’s back,  Their words are hollow to you now,  Mean nothing to you anymore.  You know you have always walked your own path,  You don’t need to follow anyone,  You’re not a lamb.  You see their idle gossip as envy,  They are bored of their lives,  Small mindedness bites them late at night.  What else have they got?  Nothing much,  Big green eyes glittering in the darkest of nights,  Makes your stomach lurch

My life isn’t perfect,  Who’s is?  Honestly now,  Who can really say their life is perfect?  Nobody at all,  Not one living soul,  Of that I am sure.  We all have highs,  We all have lows,  We all have worries,  We all have laughs,  These are things that never last.  I am thankful for the love I’ve found,  The enduring love I feel in my heart,  It is truly profound,  The love I feel inside.  The kisses I receive each morn,  The little fingers that reach for more,  The angel faces that smile at me,  Those little voices that melt me,  The wonderful partner who I love so dear,  The family unit that no money can compete with,  These are things that make me complete.  I am thankful for everything,  For all the days God had given me,  Hopefully, many more ahead of me,  I know in my soul,  I was put here to do more.  A smile,  A laugh,  A friendly chat,  All add to my worth,  Upon this beautiful earth.

The biggest regret of the dying?  Not following their dreams,  They built so many walls,  They refused to climb,  Made their lives small,  Forgot why they were here at all.

You chipped away at me,  Until all self-confidence was gone,  You abandoned me,  Left me drowning all alone.

So many places yet to travel, People to meet, Laughs still to have, Chats under the stars, Ones you have not yet had. Horizons yet to be seen, Sunrises still a distant dream, All these things you are yet to see. Wine waiting to be sipped, Stories not yet heard, Maybe it will be time to forget the woes? Let the misery go. So many dreams are yet unturned, They will find a way, First you must believe they are there though? Lead the way, Forget to be stern, Let the heartache go, See your dreams begin to flow.

You say I am a dreamer of ridiculous dreams,  You scream they are improbable,  You don’t realise that is why I dream!  To flee from this reality,  Is a thing I am able to do happily,  Come fly with me,  Let’s abscond together,  Past the huckleberry tree,  Where our dreams will last forever.

How about you bite your tongue,  Stop being unkind,  I’m not full of malice,  Why do you target me?  Nobody is perfect,  Just accept the apology,  Stop being a joke,  A parody.  Rub salt in the cuts,  Never happy until we all fall, Until you see blood.  Fuck you!  I won’t show you my wounds,  I cover them well,  I won’t let you disintegrate my will.  I try to be kind,  It is good for my soul,  I try to be peaceful,  It is great for my mind,  I try to be calm,  It is lovely for my wellbeing.  You are a whirlwind,  A tornado,  Not happy until you have blown us all away,  Your rage is loud,  It is frightening,  You push everyone away,  Thinking everyone is the enemy,  You have not realised, you are your own worst enemy,  Not happy until you have nothing left,  You have torn us all to shreds. 

Why was I born so maudlin?  Always thinking the worst,  I am cursed,  I feel too much.  Why can I never live in the moment?  Be thankful for everything I’ve got?  I fought so hard to be here,  To stay here,  Yet the negativity is eating me away from here.  If only I could say goodbye to the bad thoughts,  Banish them,  All of the things I don’t want.  Yet here I am once again,  Sinking in my own gloom,  I am smothered in doom,  I made it for myself,  Yet I cannot seem to rid myself of it.

They say you have a troubled disposition,  Not your fault,  This is what they use as their ammunition.  You go about your business,  Never hurting a soul,  People try to rip you apart,  Eat you whole.

To be happy in your own skin,  Now that would be something I’m willing to see,  Never does happen,  Always failing dismally,  Still me,  Falling uncertainly,  Often uncomfortably.

They lack loyalty,  They expect loyalty from you,  How funny what they say,  Then you watch all they do.  You cannot trust them,  Disloyal to the bone,  Makes me shiver some more.

Not the woman I once was,  Rain hits my head,  All heavy now,  Never used to make me frown.  My posture isn’t what it used to be,  No self-control,  That left me many years ago.  Glory Hallelujah,  Where have the years gone to?  I had so much promise,  Where did it all disappear to?  Wish it would come home,  It never did return.

Don’t wave us goodbye,  Not today,  Eternity is for a long, long time,  Those bad thoughts,  Shall eventually die,  Just believe they will, my dear.  You are too young to live your life like this,  How about you just flick that switch?  Change the sadness,  You have no use for those thoughts anymore,  Allow them to go.  Make sure you are happy, not mad,  Your life is too valuable for you to disappear,  We all love you, my dear.

I will love you in another life,  Another time,  A different dimension,  We did not work out this time,  We both know we shall, meet again,  In another life,  Until then…  You can dream of me, my friend.